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consider these cries of desperation as a necessary intermediate stage

. Many

women should start to become familiar with the idea that they too have

the possibility of creating a personal area

full enjoyment

free time, often even

with husband and children . Perhaps

all goes a bit slowly,

need intensive preparation, something

strength and firmness and some

"reconversion" of kin

habits, but when I got there

, you will see a feeling of happiness

have achieved precisely what he wanted, and this justifies

fully that determination, perseverance and self

that have cost so much effort

.

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The doubts are normal, but go ahead

You say we will not have time for all these ideas that we proposed. We also believe that only a woman without children or without work could allow one of these alternatives, a simple matter of time.
If we told him we know for each of these activities to one or more women with child (s) and work that they can carry them out, you probably will highlight the qualities of their husbands or companions and said: "With my partner and my chances, I have half a chance. "

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Why not something completely new ?

Admit you create those desires can not perform. The only condition: forget the phrase "I can not take a course in dancing, surfing and motorcycle driver's license at age forty." The only thing that counts: "This may amuse me." For now, avoid any 'but'. Decide as if all the time in the world and all the faculties. Try first to find that activity that causes you the greatest pleasure, stimulation, relaxation, promotion, welfare, or all at once.

Dare to do "crazy." Typically, these ideas only arise when we allow ourselves to think we block them and not beforehand thinking, "This is completely impossible." Suddenly, the idea fell "from heaven": learning to play the piano, driving a kite, go to a diving course or sculpture, or learn Scottish dances. • Our advice

If you have found something exciting, and the first step:

• For example, search a book on their chosen subject or program of a course on the chosen activity.

• Talk to people who are dealing with that issue.

• Check if your curiosity increases and allow yourself to experience some things. No need to 'B' for saying 'A'. You have the right to leave a topic and start something new just as often as you like. Of course, you can also do nothing. No press in his spare time. What he does in his spare time served for your pleasure and tranquility. Whatever you want to do:

important thing is to get started!

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This amuses me

The following list can give encouragement and help you find what would like to do:

Aerobic Martial Arts Badminton

Dance Classic Ballroom dancing

Body building Cycling

Canto

riding

Climbing Skiing

Study languages \u200b\u200b

Hiking Going to the movies

Jogging

Motorcycle Meditation

Swimming

Read

Skydiving Walking

Paint Roller

Eat or drinking

Squash Sauna

Tai Chi Tennis Theatre

Archery

Playing an instrument

Sunbathing

Yoga

What amuses you? Leave a comment!

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Discover what you really want to do

is good to take time for yourself, but do something that really suits you is even more important. For example, Silvia; surely would have taken over the course of Wednesday instead of hours of French that began less convinced.

Suddenly, many women realize that they no longer know what really interested. Too long have fulfilled its duty to mitigate his guilt, without wondering what their real needs.

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Create a free personal space

professional commitment, family, home ... However, do not forget the most important: Take time for yourself. In the long term can only respond to the demands of the challenge that presents itself if you take enough time to relax and recuperate. Most working mothers I know, but do not act accordingly.

really, is not always possible to meet this objective. From within and from without accumulating too much resistance. If the mother of two children want to participate in a course of gymnastics, has to coordinate a number of times. Thus, many mothers give up work activities, or are content with what you can enter your little "free time."

For example: Silvia, a data processor and single mom with a child of two years, found a kangaroo at a price acceptable only for Tuesday night. This allowed him to enroll in a French course that was taught in the civic center of town. Silvia would rather participate in a group of self defense for women who gave on Wednesday. But then I should have paid more money to another kangaroo.

Take seriously their desires and aspirations. Although the daily coordination of work and family take precedence, you should try to make time for yourself and use it positively. It's much easier to meet the obligations necessary if both are pursuing their own goals in both private life and at work.

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Our advice

Add quality to time spent on the family becomes much easier when you have fixed schedules to be together. This time will be filled with sensible activities, games, talking or common initiatives. It is not just that you want to know your child best. You must be ... The best thing is to have fixed times for the whole family together and share that time. The time and circumstances naturally depend on its agenda. It is important that everyone can orient towards the temporary appointment.

In families where children spend time without the presence of mothers, these regular family meetings become an enriching event. Suddenly, they all share the same role, willing and able to discuss all the developments and achievements of the day.

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Children need security

Despite all these attempts at independence, children need to feel safe (this is also true for teenagers, although they never admit it). Require a sense of security and support from adults they trust. Children may become fearful in its drive for independence, when they are abandoned or given no protection to a hazardous situation. But if they are able to secure exploration experiences, then they are proud of all they have known "do it alone." Parents should not only providing security, perhaps the children need contact with "outsiders", that can mimic the reactions and behaviors that do not experience at home.

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After five years, children need much time to assimilate, playing their experiences. The game is an undervalued factor, and parents is essential to create more than necessary. Most children experience only the time spent with adults intervene positively if they know the least. For some children, the key to his beloved independence is "doing something for themselves."

can not generalize about when a child feels safe. Some children only feel safe when they know that in the next room is a known person, while for other children enough to know that at night are reunited with a familiar person.

security is important to provide continuity, no singularity. This means that many different people can convey a sense of security: parents, grandparents, kindergarten teachers, girls or boys au-pair ...

What is crucial is that the child knows if, after a time acceptable to him, please contact a trusted person. In the process of becoming independent and adult, you can significantly strengthen your child's confidence in you transmitting that is not angry with him when he gives confidence to others. The way you as a parent can help your child find these people you trust

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five years since the first four years

From 6 to 9 months

In the next phase starts motor development. Begins controlling the ability of apprehension (catch and grasp), followed by s coordination of arms and legs.

Very important: child begins to distinguish faces and reacts to new faces, in many cases by appointment. Somewhat exaggerated talk about the "fear of nine months." Strategy: you have many contacts, so the child learns aae new is interesting.

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The first four years

The proper relationship between freedom and security itself is naturally dependent child, his temperament and disposition, and of course, age.

0 to 5 months

In the first half year, the child is completely dependent on others. However, not necessarily dependent on the mother, also at this age care can be made by the parent or other person reference without prejudice to the child.

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Apparent contradiction Independence and Security

Two basic needs and sometimes seemingly contradictory of children are on the one hand, the desire for independence and, on the other, the need for security and protection. One of the most important conditions for the healthy development of your child is having the ability to independently and receive the security you need.

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His inner conflict can be increased by the fact that children sometimes show contradictory behavior: there are phases where they want to have his mother constantly at his side and even share secrets with her, and there are other phases where they are defensive and want to "Do everything themselves," without help from anyone.

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Example

Susana is an engineer and works full time. She has two children, Lucas (5) ySonia (8) and regularly plays squash.

The time you spend with your children takes place consciously, without distractions. When their children, Susana plays with them, I read something or initiate any activity that fun at all. This compensates for the limited time spent with children. Although Susan is not free of guilt, has found a way to take on the problem. Has subsided, as she says, all "services for the child" to a "mother of day" in which he has confidence, which picks them up from school and childcare, they prepare the food and care for them until half past five o'clock. Two afternoons a week, her mother comes to the kids to bed, while Susana plays squash and then go have a beer with her husband Peter and some friends.

If you have the slightest suspicion that your child may need it longer, it says to them. Conversations often arise with children that transmit very instructive to observe how accurately and how precisely detect if your mother is with them at all or only partially, due to a problem that the ata work internally. For Susan, the children are shown very important, but that does not mean losing sight of their own interests.

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The most affected: children

is important to find the exact measurement for:

• the time actually devoted to their child or children;

• The quality of the hours they spend together.

If you spend a full 30 minutes with your child and is totally and exclusively aware of him, this time is sufficient. Your child has enough to last 30 minutes a day of intensive delivery of his mother. What really matters is that you take the time to spend with your child with great intensity and not be distracted by thinking about your job, your house or other matters.