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Apparent contradiction Independence and Security

Two basic needs and sometimes seemingly contradictory of children are on the one hand, the desire for independence and, on the other, the need for security and protection. One of the most important conditions for the healthy development of your child is having the ability to independently and receive the security you need.

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His inner conflict can be increased by the fact that children sometimes show contradictory behavior: there are phases where they want to have his mother constantly at his side and even share secrets with her, and there are other phases where they are defensive and want to "Do everything themselves," without help from anyone.

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Example

Susana is an engineer and works full time. She has two children, Lucas (5) ySonia (8) and regularly plays squash.

The time you spend with your children takes place consciously, without distractions. When their children, Susana plays with them, I read something or initiate any activity that fun at all. This compensates for the limited time spent with children. Although Susan is not free of guilt, has found a way to take on the problem. Has subsided, as she says, all "services for the child" to a "mother of day" in which he has confidence, which picks them up from school and childcare, they prepare the food and care for them until half past five o'clock. Two afternoons a week, her mother comes to the kids to bed, while Susana plays squash and then go have a beer with her husband Peter and some friends.

If you have the slightest suspicion that your child may need it longer, it says to them. Conversations often arise with children that transmit very instructive to observe how accurately and how precisely detect if your mother is with them at all or only partially, due to a problem that the ata work internally. For Susan, the children are shown very important, but that does not mean losing sight of their own interests.

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The most affected: children

is important to find the exact measurement for:

• the time actually devoted to their child or children;

• The quality of the hours they spend together.

If you spend a full 30 minutes with your child and is totally and exclusively aware of him, this time is sufficient. Your child has enough to last 30 minutes a day of intensive delivery of his mother. What really matters is that you take the time to spend with your child with great intensity and not be distracted by thinking about your job, your house or other matters.